Symantec: Throw your laptop away

Symantec came up with fresh idea to advertise their Norton software outdoors:

Throw it away

Throw it away

The guy throwing away his laptop – this means to me the “speed of throwing laptop away”. Actually this is precisely my case a month ago.. (the rest is here)

This pose means only one thing. And You know it.

Nike makes interesting statement to advertise Triax Speed 100 sports watch:

Check this!

Nike: Check this!

IMO, this ad image has great “Photoshop-ready” potential (with “middle finger up” for instance).

I can not “Enroll Now”: I am driving

Yet another dumb application of web-like advertisement to the road ad billboards. Check this out: “Enroll Now”:

Enroll now

Enroll now

My first impression was: “damn, I can not enroll now, even if I wish to enroll. I am driving”.

I took the picture from the best visible spot of the billboard. The billboard stands in a place from which only “Enroll Now” is visible. In a matter of a second or two I could read this stupid invitation to immediate enrollement and then concentrate on the road: I do not want to be smashed by dumptrucks entering this part of the highway (680 near Benicia).

I have a better design idea for designers of this ingenious ad: “Click Here to Enroll Now!” followed by License Agreement, restriction policy, discount coupon code and Terms of Service. Yeah, and do not forget to include top management’s bios with “business smile” photos.

Guys, highway billboards are good only for well established brands and/or for very, very short texts. People who are driving 65 mph will not read your micro text even if they wish to.

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Stay tuned for even more cool stuff!

~DF, Publisher

Microsoft: no Walls, just Windows

This Microsoft’s billboard stands in San Francisco downtown, right at the entrance of Bay Bridge (Hwy 80 East):

Life without Walls

Life without Walls

Actually I personally have issues with living “without walls”: I do not want my naked ass to be exposed to the entire neighborhood when I am in the shower. I like my privacy, I need my walls.

IMO, Apple definitely should respond with something like this:

The rest of the story is here

Chevron’s Advertisement: Bad Taste!

Chevron's ad

Chevron advertisement

Hello? Who’s talking? Are those (Chevron) who were selling me gasoline at $4.25/gallon just recently (San Francisco, California)? Sure we will be using less gas! Like in the old anecdote where the kid came to his alcoholic father and asks him: “Dad, I’ve heard they rise prices for liquor. Does it mean you will be drinking less?” Dad says: “No son. That means that you will be eating less“. But back to the subject.

IMO, to write something over someone’s face looks good only in case of law enforcement creativity like “FBI Wanted Fugitive. Captured”. But when it comes to civilian design this approach sucks because:

  • Human face is not an even surface like whiteboard; To write something over a non-even surface in thin light font results hard to read;
  • It looks like graffiti;
  • You kinda disrespect the person by placing advertisement over his face.

Actually I was unable to read Chevron’s message until I photographed the banner when I was driving by. Guys, for the money you sucked out from our pockets you could come up with something better than you are exposing now.

Design Fail Factor: 9 (out of 10)

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Yeson Sucks

I like to take pictures of non-profit organizations advertisement. The background taken from free photobank collection, the Arial Black font and “the girl from the front desk” all together could produce this:

This Yeson sucks

This Yeson sucks

Do not save on space between words, babe!  Here are the examples of OK Yes_ons:

This Yeson is OK

This Yes_on is OK

This Yeson is OK too

This Yes_on is OK too

Don’t me, please!

Looks like advertisement these days is not an “engine for commerce” any more, it became a tool for commerce blackmailing.
Today I was installing Trillian Messenger software. So here it is: You have to agree with License Agreement (I agree) AND have to install 3rd party crap like toolbar (WTF? I disagree!). They do not give me an option to choose not to install stuff which I do not need:

Don't me, please

Do not me, please

Ok, since the acceptance of just “license agreement” is not enough, no Trillian Messenger for me today.
How about Vuze (also known as Azureus torrent client) for legal sharing of HD videos? Same story: I have to accept license agreement AND install their toolbar:

Do not me, please

Do not me, please

However in case of Vuze it is funny that if you do not check :”I accept license agreement..” check box, it will let you go further anyway, install and use the software. Does it mean that I found a bug in their Install Shiled script?

Guys, I do not need your toolbars, seriously. I already have bunch of disabled toolbars which I do not use. Let me choose what to install and what not to install on my computer. I understand your need to make money but think about me also, please: I have a web browser, not a junk ads storage after all. This pushy “consume our Ads or we make your web browsing experience miserable” approach may have opposite effect like old telemarketers calls.

And No, thank you, I prefer to have something else as a “default home page” rather than, etc. And I do not need toolbars for: “daily calories calculation” (I am slim enough w/out any brutal diets), “weather” (weather predictions suck 100%, a random number generator predicts better), “search for local singles” (most of them are ugly as a halloween nightmare), etc. And I use Google to search stuff online.
And yes, I do not have too much browser window real estate left.

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Safe for your sausage, but how about fingers?

How about an actual finger? ;)

How about an actual finger? 😉

Check out the advertisement video for the safe saw. At the beginning the guy talks about how safe the saw is, and the text after the video implies it is safe for fingers. I really expected the inventor himself to demonstrate the safety feature with one of his actual fingers, but when the video started showing computer animations of the saw, instead of the real thing, I begun suspecting there would be no real demonstration. And voila, they use a sausage instead! A sausage!

Compared to what people do with their bodies to achieve monetary benefit (e.g. cosmetic surgery), risking (just risking – the saw is safe, isn’t it? 😉 ) a little piece of the left pinky doesn’t seem too much. But alas, we didn’t see that.

Kaiser: “Don’t Taze me Bro”

Kaiser Permanente (health care organization in the US) recently came up with a fresh creative idea for billboard ads:

Vote for yourself

Baby boomers to vote for themselves

It is hard to say what message does Kaiser send to us. Am I also eligible to vote for myself or I am not qualified by age? Or only baby boomers are welcome to vote for themselves?

There is more. “You are under arrest. Step away from the vehicle, turn around and put your hands on top of your head”:

Should I put hands on top of my head as well

Am I under arrest?

Impression I got after observing these billboards after a week:

Step away from the vehicle

You are under arrest

Design Fail factor: 4 (out of 10).

Update: 7macaw’s suggestion:

Don't Taze me, Bro!


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‘Bad Ass’ Advertisement

Bad Ass Advertisement

Bad Ass Advertisement

I took this picture at Lahaina, Hawaii. This is one of many gift stores with huge variety of made-in-china kinda crap like ‘Aloha’ fridge door magnets, cheap shell necklaces, post cards and macadamia nuts.
The idea to put used (yes, they are quite used!) “Bad Ass” shorts on display is funny but from marketing perspective it seems that it isn’t. I was hanging out nearby for an hour or so watching how this works on shoppers. Most of the vacationers definitely noticed the shorts (a few of them even took pictures) and then proceeded to do their shopping elsewhere.

Conclusion: Good idea for an alternative art gallery or a night club.

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